Is Love Marriage a boon?....

Is love Marriage still a taboo in Pakistan?

Pakistan could be a nation of assorted societies, districts, ethnic foundations, dialects, castes, and ethnicities; very an intriguing thing that pulls in most foreign tourists. But this exceptionally social distinction may be confusing on the off chance that somebody needs to select his/her better half having a place to different ethnic foundation, or caste to be more particular. The thought is inciting, however it may be progressive in case indeed a single individual stands up against all chances and tries to form a alter; and there are many who did that but fizzled to alter the society’s attitude for the long run. We as social creatures are so included in our communities that we disregard others. The common viewpoint is that we are by one means or another higher in living and social guidelines than any other individual.

Parent’s Reluctance :
In case if a grown-up guy or girl keeps up a proposition of doing anything diverse when it comes to relational unions he/she is regularly looked down upon for being as well childish or immature; in spite of the truth that guardians do need their children to get settled and never confront any life-related obstacles, both monetarily and candidly. Everyone pondered why honor killings still exist? This is often since the guardians are as well included with other community individuals, religious clerics, and relatives to the degree of being fair manipulative living objects. They do anything they are told and entirely commanded, anything their so-called ‘helping hands’ feel what is right or off-base. Their pompous nature ruins their children’s future. Most love stories come to an end due to the same reason since they are mentally smashed that they have no control over their claim sound considering. In case one or two makes a fruitful endeavor to marriage, they may be slaughtered by their acclaimed relatives, or at slightest socially boycotted. A very few parents are supportive of love marriage.

Otherwise, it is considered a sin or a taboo.

Paradigm shift in Approach:
But on the contrary, drift in education and living standard inter-caste marriages are a positive sign for the youth as well as before we were reluctant to bring a daughter in law out of our room 'tribe', primitively only path and will marry Pathans and Punjabis in Punjabis, but then we see a paradigm shift where parents are a bit flexible and allowing their adult kids to marry of their own choice and will and parent's consent is there, also their blessings.

When did this love marriage become taboo?
The caste system was introduced during the subcontinent’s ancient culture where certain groups of people had specialized tasks to conduct. Their children had to maintain that legacy by performing the same function and that never ended. Over the time the Mughals came, the British Raj ruled over the entire country, and so the country has now mixed races and cultures, the acceptance towards others is tolerated at some level but not beyond limits. One doesn’t have a clue about his own ancestry whether they were the natives or foreigners or mixed, still claim to be superior, which is frustrating.

Still believes on Classism:
The dilemma is that this thing still prevails where a shoe mender (mochi) will be called a zaat ka mochi or butcher as qasayi ki ulaad these phrases considered to be abuse and stigmatized them in the world today. A good friend of mine in Edwardes college madly in love with a guy but could not tell her parents about it because she told me that their family belongs to Qasabs (butchers) profession though the guy was a electrical engineer working in a multinational company and we are Afridi nawabs how can I marry the son of a butcher, my father will kill me instead if I told him. 

There would always be a huge cultural difference in the Pathans to that of Punjabi or Sindhi or Urdu speaking individuals. The same goes for other castes for instance Syeds won't be marrying in another caste system. In Punjab Araiyin will not marry Jatt and in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa still Afridi tribe will not marry other than their cousins.

Monetary Gains:
The innocent parents sometimes show reluctance towards love marriage because people are greedy to tell guy’s parents to give dower in the form of possession of a house, gold up to 40 tolas, and cash mahr. Also sometimes if a girl is financially stable, guys ask for worldly demands, which is why parents do not agree with this.
 If both the parties are well settled so the marriage can be finalized. So it is no more a bond between two beautiful souls instead people are taking monetary gains out of it.


Sectarian Issue:
It is no secret that we Muslims are segregated into diverse sects; Sunni, Shia, Barelvi, wahabi and Ismaili etc. And the main conflict arises amid Sunni and Shia, though both the main sects within Islam, Sunni, and Shia agree on most of the fundamental practices but still the bitter split exists for some fourteen centuries. And it reigns more in Parachinar, Hangu, Jhang, Karachi and D.I khan, etc where hatred is to a level that the co-existence is very hard as they burn houses of each other, don’t eat from each other’s fields, even the domestic animals are named as Shia and Sunni Murghi in Parachinar and if a young boy from Shia sect show willingness to marry the Sunni girl or vice versa the religious extremist will kill them for honor or the families of the couple will be boycotted by the mosques of the sects and social and communal pressure will be made their parents leave them or disown them-which again is a major issue of love marriage considered as a taboo.
On the other hand some urbanized families are allowing their kids to marry and if any problem arises the couple applies abroad for asylum and the Sunni and Shia fusion is called ‘Sushi”. For increasing the inter-sect marriage Shia-Sunni friendly platforms should be promoted through Ullemas (Preachers like Tariq Jameel and Syed Ali Raza Rizvi ) whose talks leave an impression to their listeners and followers.

Ethnic Differences:
There is a myth coming from our parents that people from different ethnic groups, traditions, and culture cannot adjust and mingle but on the contrary, if an adult boy and a girl has decided to marry someone they actually knew them before and have accepted them in a way as they are in a relationship or a bond and they accept each other differences, shortcomings that's why they are together.
Another example of a Punjabi girl marrying her classmate who was a Gojali, belonging to Hunza, and creating magic on social media portraying inter-caste love marriage is possible and enjoying every bit of life together.

"Actually the thing is my story is not spicy at all. My parents were more than happy with this proposal because they knew my husband well and loved him because of the goodness of his heart. It took a little convincing for his parents but there was not much of a struggle as they also knew me well and took me with open hands. 

Quite a lot have changed for me living in a different ethnicity. Being a Punjabi, we are very loud people. I do miss that hyperness and hulla gulla over nothing. However, I get to try so many new things (in terms of food). Everyday I am introduced to a new tradition or cultural element which is so mesmerizing. How there goes so much thought behind every small thing in their culture." says Samman Fahim.

Another myth that exists is that Divorce rates are higher in love marriages than arrange marriages.
Inter-sect marriage is a sin and God will punish those who commit such wrong deeds because they betrayed their parents and community and tarnished their sentiments.

As distant as the sin is concerned let the universe choose what comes into our life as per our thought forms and our claim attitude and behavior towards others. When we say the word Sin or Delinquent, we really judge other individuals for their deeds since in our possess eyes we are the divine ones. When it comes to our claim wrongdoings, we attempt truly difficult in advocating for ourselves that due to so and so circumstances we did this or that. Most individuals don't realize their claim acts and quickly conclude to something when it comes to judging others after hearing made-up stories almost somebody.

Love Marriages should be converted to arranged ones and in this way this love marriage word will be approved and exalted.